Slowly getting it...

I think this so called blog will be fun reading material for me down the road. I'm finding that I may be the only one that reads this and that's ok...because maybe, just maybe it will help me process what my mind has been thinking. I thought two main concepts today...one excited me and the other was more painful, but will be good.

I'm realizing more and more that God has created me to be around people that don't know Him. I thought of that because a friend of mine is going to be joining this missions org. where basically everyone loves Jesus...and that made me really happy to think about. I think I'd like that later on in life and might just need it after church planting, hehe. Just kidding! But I feel more at home right now with people who have been burned by religion, the church, christians, etc. My passion is to build relationships with people and just love them. It's why I love volunteering at outreach so much. And that's why I just love having friendships with people, no matter who they are.

The other thing I am processing is my control of myself. How I still don't let people enter into my life whole-heartedly. That I don't allow people to speak words of affirmation into my life because that means I have lost control of my independency. If someone encourages me in something i have failed myself because i should have been able to do it and not receive any encouragement. Well, it's all backwards thinking. It's not allowing people to share life with. And it's painful for me to be figuring this out right now...but there is a reason why God put this one my heart today. I'm going to continue to process it everyday.