vacation

i am officially on christmas vacation and it is already proving to be lovely. two weeks off! one of those weeks will be in indiana! i'm so looking forward to all that will be of that whirlwind of a trip!

side note, i really like my roommates.

prayer request: please pray that i will make it safely, as well as all of the eugene team, to indiana as we fly out during the next week. crazy winter conditions make traveling intense so hopefully nothing will be a problem.

i don't have anything else going on in my brain right now...it is 1:25am after all. :)

much love and more intelligent stories to come! :)

just me...

a glimpse into my head is actually pretty simple. i am abstract, ask a whole lot of questions, dream dreams, and just want to experience the beauty and the messiness of the world. i find i don't necessarily fit into the "smart, intelligent" group of people because I don't think or function the same way that they do. It's not that I can't, but it's just not natural for me. And sometimes that frustrates me more then other things. I struggled for a long time thinking people didn't see me as intelligent or smart enough and hide behind silence or just checked out mentally with certain things. I wasn't challenged to explore who God really made me.

This whole past year up to now I am slowly understanding little bits and pieces of who I am. I know it wouldn't have been possible for me to understand myself without God directing me to do certain things, experience life in different ways, and meet people who started to encourage and challenge me to be me, not some other form of who I was being. I find this part of discovery hard and confusing...but it's also something that has lately been pretty freeing for me.

Why did I ever fabricate myself into something or someone that I was not? That is one question I hope to always ask myself.

another student comment

i just can't help it, but i learn so much from my students. Here's a story that makes my heart happy and extremely hopeful for the future.

I do this song called Merlin and he is actually my little teddy bear who grants kids their wishes whenever Merlin ends up where they are. It's a passing game and really fun for the kids. I was doing this with my first graders this week and I got to this sweet little girl. We sang the song and sang the question of "what do you wish for?" and her response blew me away. She said I wish for world peace. I prayed right at that moment. I prayed that she would be someone that would dream for that all of her life and that she would not be the only kid that dreams for that.

Shalom :)

Eugene

I am learning so much about myself since being out here in Eugene. I thought I'd share a little recap of the past couple of months. Some things are good and some are bad. But I want to remember and share what has been going on.

1. God is revealing to me who He has created me to be. I cried this past wednesday night at group when I felt like God was letting me know that He created me to be a person who challenges and is out with people. I used to think that I had a total pastoral heart, but am unsure of the extent of that now. I know that was an incredibly easy, lazy way out of many things and that is not where God has me now. I think as I start to challenge my own ideas I start to see myself more clearly in the light of Jesus.

2. I am lazy and I don't like that about myself. I find myself making excuses for myself way too much. Sometimes that takes away from living in the present moment. It's not always about me and I make it that way. I'm working on this.

3. Communication is VITAL in any situation and I'm learning how bad of a communicator I am. So that's another thing I am working on.

4. My hearts passion (to see homelessness ENDED) is something that I will forever live for. Like my good friend Jess said, you see homelessness everywhere in eugene. It's engulfs us here and I will not be lazy like I usually am and do something about this. God has placed this on my heart for awhile so step one is going out on the streets and develop relationships with my friends who live there. The cool thing is that Jess and I are going to do exactly that tomorrow. I'm praising God that I'm able to do this.

5. Life is messy and hard when you are completely away from everything that you have known and are comfortable with. I am loving the fact that I am starting to make new friends. I am still extremely busy here in Eugene. Something is always going on and I am still always really tired. ha!

6. I feel blessed to experience the love of God daily without being persecuted or ridiculed. The Kingdom is beautiful here in Eugene and incredibly messy, but I am seeing Jesus do some really great things in me, the church plant, and my new friends. I could go in detail about this, but it will take awhile. Just ask me sometime!

7. I am so looking forward to making a trip in Indiana on December 23-30!!!! I am so looking forward to seeing "familiar" faces and new faces that I've never met. So my times to be in indy are most likely Dec. 26-30th. If you would like to see me during that time please let me know. I want to see as many people as I can because I sure miss a lot of people. I'm looking forward for a time or encouragement and refreshing, relaxing time. Hooray!

8. Prayer is huge and I need to do more of it.

:)

One student out of 350...

...showed me what it means to love like Jesus.

A fourth grade student came up to me after choir rehearsal with arms open wide and gave me a hug. She said with such a humble, sad face that she needed a hug. She went into her story about how she forgot to do a homework assignment but remember like 10 minutes before she had to be at school. She's a great student, a hard worker, and always does a great job. One little mess up made her feel like her world was falling a part right in front of her eyes and the only thing that was going to help her at that moment was a hug.

I see the glimpse of the Kingdom everyday in my room. A kid shows me how to love like Jesus and my kids love me just like Jesus does.

And my 4th grade student taught me to go to Jesus a little more. Ask for a hug. If I just ask, humbly go to Him, I know He'll be there with open arms. I love learning more about who Jesus is from my students.

Thankfullness

I wanted to write a quick summary of things that I am thankful for:

-eugene team who are my family in eugene
-my job (i didn't know if i'd get to teach again or if God wanted me somewhere else)
-delievering thanksgiving food boxes to students and their families last week
-coffee (sad, but true...b/c without teaching those kids in the morning would be rough, for them, not me, ha!)
-my roommates...shoot, too many reasons to tell you why they are wonderful people
-always and forever, my mom and brother...even if they are far away.
-friends in indy who keep encouraging me while i am thousands of miles away...thank you, it means a lot b/c sometimes it's hard being so far away
-my new friends here in eugene, making it feel more like home each and every day
-game night every thursday evening!
-my car still works!
-being able to sing in a choir again
-God going before me in everything that i do
-just being present
-love
-saturday market and holiday market...i love supporting local people rather then big commercialized stuff (if you are ever in eugene i am going to take you to the market...it starts back in april...hint hint hint)
-my apartment, clothes, food, etc.
-grace and mercy, daily, every second of the day
-that we have made it to month 4 of living out here in eugene
-being able to make a trip home to see my mom and friends in indiana (leaving Dec. 23!)

Those are just the things i thought of off the top of my head. There are soooooo many more. I'm grateful and blessed and wanted to share some of them with you.

Hope the holiday season is beautiful for you and your family/friends.