Beautiful

The title of this is a word someone sent to me in an email recently. It has nothing to do about my looks, haha, but it had to do with what I sent out to people. I didn't really realize how the email I sent out was such a great time to process 6 months of what I have been doing into a couple of paragraphs. I do not think I can fully explain to you what I have been going through since the training school has started. I just don't know how to begin. But the word beautiful describes it perfectly. So does lovely ecclesiastes when it is stated something to the effect of, everything will be made perfect in its time.

I look back and realized how I haven't really been using the gifts God has given me. I use the excuse that there is just a lot going on in my life and I just can't do that right now...I can't put time into peoples lives when I feel like I'm breaking apart in 300 different pieces. But I wonder if I missed out on time with people, walking with them, and just loving them. I do feel it was a crazy season in my life where I was being broken, challenged, and moved drastically. I learned a lot on how to give up my control in a lot of things. And it's funny to think that tonight I had a conversation in the car with God on how I'm ready to jump back into the gifts he has given me. I appreciated the space and break from it. There is a time and place for everything, and it will be made perfect. Sometimes I just need to step back and allow others to use their gifts.

Beautiful. A word that yearns, reaching for the unknown, breaking barriors and making an impact on peoples hearts.

Beautiful.