Dad

my dad died on january 16, 1997. it's hard to think it is coming up to 12 years. the reality is that half of my life i have been alive my dad has been dead.

i'm already sad about it. well, i think whenever you lose someone that you love you will always have a special place in your heart that will be sad. some days during the year are just sad days for me. but the week before my dad's anniversary of his death is especially hard for me. mostly because i think more about it this week then i do other weeks.

this morning is an example of a time when it is really hard for me.

when my dad died my life was completely changed. at 13 years old you don't really think you are going to get a knock on your door in the evening with two cops at your door. they asked to speak to all of us, my mom, brother, and me. i was annoyed because i was studying for my science final i was going to have the next day and really needed to get that over and done with. the science final went out the window once they said my dad was dead. it was one of the mose surreal and intense experiences i have ever experienced.

but there is a lot of beauty in the experience for me. when i found out the news about my dad i heard God tell me that my dad died for a reason. it was the first time that i truly felt peace in my heart...and i truly believe it is the only kind of peace that God can bless us with. i needed that, God knew, and I was comforted. i grew up in the church, but never really had anyone tell me about the voice of God or that God can communicate with us by the holy spirit. but it was at that exact moment that I knew God was speaking into my life. because of that moment i turned to God in everything. later on in life i knew that that moment was the beginning of my journey towards Jesus. i like to remember that moment, the moment of feeling peace, on the days when i feel extremely sad that i lost my dad.

this week i am going to hold onto the promise that Jesus is our comforter, supporter, encourager, and I will cling onto the love he has for me this week.