Eugene

I am learning so much about myself since being out here in Eugene. I thought I'd share a little recap of the past couple of months. Some things are good and some are bad. But I want to remember and share what has been going on.

1. God is revealing to me who He has created me to be. I cried this past wednesday night at group when I felt like God was letting me know that He created me to be a person who challenges and is out with people. I used to think that I had a total pastoral heart, but am unsure of the extent of that now. I know that was an incredibly easy, lazy way out of many things and that is not where God has me now. I think as I start to challenge my own ideas I start to see myself more clearly in the light of Jesus.

2. I am lazy and I don't like that about myself. I find myself making excuses for myself way too much. Sometimes that takes away from living in the present moment. It's not always about me and I make it that way. I'm working on this.

3. Communication is VITAL in any situation and I'm learning how bad of a communicator I am. So that's another thing I am working on.

4. My hearts passion (to see homelessness ENDED) is something that I will forever live for. Like my good friend Jess said, you see homelessness everywhere in eugene. It's engulfs us here and I will not be lazy like I usually am and do something about this. God has placed this on my heart for awhile so step one is going out on the streets and develop relationships with my friends who live there. The cool thing is that Jess and I are going to do exactly that tomorrow. I'm praising God that I'm able to do this.

5. Life is messy and hard when you are completely away from everything that you have known and are comfortable with. I am loving the fact that I am starting to make new friends. I am still extremely busy here in Eugene. Something is always going on and I am still always really tired. ha!

6. I feel blessed to experience the love of God daily without being persecuted or ridiculed. The Kingdom is beautiful here in Eugene and incredibly messy, but I am seeing Jesus do some really great things in me, the church plant, and my new friends. I could go in detail about this, but it will take awhile. Just ask me sometime!

7. I am so looking forward to making a trip in Indiana on December 23-30!!!! I am so looking forward to seeing "familiar" faces and new faces that I've never met. So my times to be in indy are most likely Dec. 26-30th. If you would like to see me during that time please let me know. I want to see as many people as I can because I sure miss a lot of people. I'm looking forward for a time or encouragement and refreshing, relaxing time. Hooray!

8. Prayer is huge and I need to do more of it.

:)

One student out of 350...

...showed me what it means to love like Jesus.

A fourth grade student came up to me after choir rehearsal with arms open wide and gave me a hug. She said with such a humble, sad face that she needed a hug. She went into her story about how she forgot to do a homework assignment but remember like 10 minutes before she had to be at school. She's a great student, a hard worker, and always does a great job. One little mess up made her feel like her world was falling a part right in front of her eyes and the only thing that was going to help her at that moment was a hug.

I see the glimpse of the Kingdom everyday in my room. A kid shows me how to love like Jesus and my kids love me just like Jesus does.

And my 4th grade student taught me to go to Jesus a little more. Ask for a hug. If I just ask, humbly go to Him, I know He'll be there with open arms. I love learning more about who Jesus is from my students.

Thankfullness

I wanted to write a quick summary of things that I am thankful for:

-eugene team who are my family in eugene
-my job (i didn't know if i'd get to teach again or if God wanted me somewhere else)
-delievering thanksgiving food boxes to students and their families last week
-coffee (sad, but true...b/c without teaching those kids in the morning would be rough, for them, not me, ha!)
-my roommates...shoot, too many reasons to tell you why they are wonderful people
-always and forever, my mom and brother...even if they are far away.
-friends in indy who keep encouraging me while i am thousands of miles away...thank you, it means a lot b/c sometimes it's hard being so far away
-my new friends here in eugene, making it feel more like home each and every day
-game night every thursday evening!
-my car still works!
-being able to sing in a choir again
-God going before me in everything that i do
-just being present
-love
-saturday market and holiday market...i love supporting local people rather then big commercialized stuff (if you are ever in eugene i am going to take you to the market...it starts back in april...hint hint hint)
-my apartment, clothes, food, etc.
-grace and mercy, daily, every second of the day
-that we have made it to month 4 of living out here in eugene
-being able to make a trip home to see my mom and friends in indiana (leaving Dec. 23!)

Those are just the things i thought of off the top of my head. There are soooooo many more. I'm grateful and blessed and wanted to share some of them with you.

Hope the holiday season is beautiful for you and your family/friends.

tears or absolute joy

I can't really remember a time where my students almost made me cry until today. I was doing a song called A Tisket-a-tasket. it's a pretty fun song for my kids and to make it extra special i do a duck duck goose game while they sing that song. my kids LOVE it! well the kids take turns and they were just so carefree, skipping around the circle. And every child had a smile on their face. i saw authentic love and joy from these kids today. I love how Jesus mentions a faith of a little child. Teach kindies and you will understand the complete joy Jesus wants us to experience. They showed me how much Jesus loves me just from their smiles and their hugs. I'm so blessed to be able to share those moments with my students. They taught me so much in just 30 minutes. I wish you could experience their smiles! :)

it is calm

i have had a much needed evening tonight which consisted of this: working out, playing wii fit, eating leftover minestrone soup my wonderful friend jess made, watched 2 movies, and have lounged in comfy clothes ever since i got out of school. To top it off i got to leave early from school today! woo hoo!

so my heart is just happy to have had a night that i had to stop and do nothing...because really nothing was going on tonight. next on my plate is to finish a book and drink a classs of wine :)

i'm just thankful for a slow evening all to myself.

Christmas

This is my absolute favorite time of the year...i LOVE being able to celebrate the holidays with friends and family! And I'm excited to start having a big thanksgiving feast with friends here in eugene. I am inspired by the Mitchell household. Cj and i mentioned how we just loved going over to their open house festivities on christmas day. it was a wonderful mix of great company. i would love that to be like that here during thanksgiving. Our good friends Dan and Jess are going to enjoy our feast this year with us (the eugene team)! So yay for new friends to share bread with. :)

I have been thinking a lot about poverty during the past few months and it made me realize more and more how I have more then enough stuff for myself. So I want to come up with something that i can do for the holiday season. i like gifties and appreciate them and my materialist side of me wants things, but does not need them. I want to do something to help others instead of getting things. Ending poverty starts with me. It means that I am not going to become legalistic about things, but it does mean that i am going to reevaluate myself to see how I can help. I can take steps to help fight the battle.

I'm not the most educated about what all i can do to help the problems that have enslaved so many people not only in eugene, but also around the world. So my next step is start to research what I can do, how i can be an advocate, and walk along the battle that millions of people fight every second of the day. That includes so many of my students at my school. These beautiful children may only get breakfast and lunch at school. That may be their only source of food for the day. I love Jesus who loves the least of these. I pray I can learn how to love well everyday.

Off I go with a passion to see the world be changed...one step at a time.

I want to be ready

"I want to be ready" are some beautiful lyrics that Shawn McDonald has written. If you don't know who he is check him out. I am a huge fan of what he does and his music ministers to my soul. :) This song was brought to me today via Pandora, which I am also a huge fan of...check it out, pandora.com

I have been having moments this week where I have cried. And i am someone who cries, but honestly i haven't cried in awhile. now i find myself to be crying at random times.

i wrote last night in my journal that i want to dream dreams and follow the calling God has placed on my heart. I will share one. I feel like i am supposed to walk the streets of eugene like i did when i was volunteering at outreach, inc. (which is an AWESOME thing to get involved with if you are in Indy - outreachindiana.org). And then I thought shoot i should pack up some pbj sandwiches and hand them out to people that i meet. Sarah mentioned socks, so hey socks too! And i thought well this is where I start. Go among the people, talk with people, see Jesus in them and live the church out on the streets of eugene. i do believe we all have gifts to use in this kingdom, that makes us come alive and it should breathe life into us. mine is to be out with people, hearing stories, rejoicing with people, crying with people, and just plain living life. i have learned over a period of time that i am not one that will normally discuss deep theological topics (though i spent a year doing it and it stretched me more then i have ever been stretched) but i am one who will be among people. so i pray that i will continue to dream dreams that are much bigger then me.

and i ask that you pray for me. i'm really good at getting beautiful ideas in my head but don't actually do them. it's quite frankly my personality and it sure gets the best of me. i've always been one who reads multiple books at a time to spice it up a little and mostly so that i won't get bored with what i am doing. it's just who God created me to be, but i ask you pray that God doesn't let this dream of His leave my heart and that I act on it.

i pray God love will overwhelm you today, tomorrow, and forever and that you will not stop to dream dreams. :)