4 day weekend

i've noticed that i do a really good job of planning stuff around time off. true story. so i have a list of fun things i'd like to get done during the next 4 days. but all i want to really do is just get in my car and drive around oregon (but if you knew my car, you'd know i wouldn't actually surivive the trip)!

sometimes, i just can't figure out myself. i like to plan things out for what is going to happen next. i mean, i did have 5 years of my life planned out for me and none of those plans actually happened, ha. and the other part of me wants nothing to do with plans, just go with the flow, and be really spontaneous. my roommate, sarah, described me the best one time. she said that i am the most anal retentive laid back person she has ever met. then, for fun, i looked up the definition of those words:

The term anal-retentive (or anally retentive, anal retentive), commonly abbreviated to "anal", is used conversationally to describe a person with such attention to detail that the obsession becomes an annoyance to others, and can be carried out to the detriment of the anal-retentive person.

laid back: very relaxed and calm

hence the fact that i struggle with being able to figure myself out. it just makes me laugh. I know God has a sense of order whenever i try to figure out myself. :)

Fired up

We talked about dreams of ours that really get us excited. I thought for a second and really thought I have so many dreams (i think i've always been a dreamer) that run through my head. they change, mold into other dreams, or are slowly dismissed. But there is one thing that my heart will always be fired up for. "Seeing people be loved." I think that's where a lot of my dreams stem from. I'm trying to be more aware of manufacturer's and how they treat their workers b/c i don't want to buy things that are going to support the really unjust things the workers are facing everyday. I want those workers to be valued and they should get more for what they are doing just so i can buy a sweatshirt. Sex trafficking - injustice, awful, my mind gets blown from hearing stories about kids. i want those kids to be loved, not abused. anything humanitarian will get me fired up. a dream of mine is to go where no one really wants to go, to volunteer for the summer, get to know people, and serve. i want people to be loved.

I realize through this process that my dreams require a lot out of me. it requires me to die to myself and to honestly pick up my cross. but the more i read about jesus and what he came to the world to do the more i want to do just that. so my prayer is that the dreams of people become realities...that I won't be silent for what I am passionate about.

My dream is to see the world changed by Jesus...we have a part to play in it and everyone matters. it's beautiful.

Oh thank you weekend for arriving...

holy cow, what a flippin week i experienced! after yesterdays psycho adventure at school, i thought enough is enough. stacie, take a personal day. so for my sanity i scheduled to take next friday off. i love my job, i really do. i just had a psycho couple of days dealing with certain things and just need to chill. so it will be good for my soul.

i'm super thankful for this weekend. mostly because i am going to chill out and just relax. i've been reading a book here and there about taking a sabbath, and then read something else about taking a sabbath, and it got me thinking that i should maybe should listen to what i have been reading. i've been getting a lot of clues to do that. oh thank you jesus for allowing us time to rest. how i need to rest. so this weekend i will be resting. it is going to be lovely.

enjoy your weekend friends. peace :)

Encouragement

We, as a church, got to skype into a vision sunday 2 days ago with common ground. it was so very good for my heart to hear that people are praying for us and that we are loved. i didn't realize how much that impacted me until later that day. i've also talked to a couple of people who i haven't talked to in a long time because they heard me speak. even though i am the worst at communication i am so grateful that people texted me or talked with me after the talk with common ground. it makes me feel loved and really does encourage me. sometimes i miss indy and my friends i had back there. there are some people that i still stay in touch with regularly, but there are a lot of people that i don't. it's hard to stay in touch, but for that one single moment, i didn't feel so far away. it's good to feel loved. :)

For You, From Me

A friend posted this and I thought it would be super fun to do! I enjoy making crafties! The first 5 people to respond to this post will get something made by me! YAY! :)

My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It'll be done this year.
4. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry or an article on properly cleaning your face before a mask. I may sew or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!

Ok, friends...leave me a comment and I'll start on the perfect thing for you! :)

Hope

I know God has been speaking to my life quite powerfully using hope as a major theme. I've struggled just with some stuff the past week. But I know that we all struggle (oh hey sin remember how we dislike you, yeah...), but we can declare hope in the midst of hard times and struggles. I will not be defeated, beat down, or trust in lies that I hear. I'm declaring hope over my life and over the peoples lives that I am around. Wow, what awesome encouragement God has given to me with just one word, hope. :)

letting go

i will always be learning how to "let go" of things. i'm a teacher and do it very well with my students. if some student does something pretty lame then i correct it, discuss it with the student, and let it go. it's a simple process for me. i don't hold a grudge with the kids. they mess up, we talk about it, and we go on just like it never happened.

why do i, as an adult, just not let go of things? i usually hold onto "junk" because i want to dwell on self-pity? is it my pride? my perfectionist mindset? am i fearful of letting go because it will change me? do i want to change?

it's easy to hold onto things. it rarely requires anything of me. but when i hold on to things i am more like owned by them. i am under bondage to it, whatever "it" is. I can name a lot of things. but where is the freedom? shouldn't i want to be free from it?

oh sin, how i loathe you and your ugly nature. anytime you might want to leave forever i might just go give free hugs to everyone i pass on the street. no joke. please leave. k, thanks.

so i struggle with letting go, but know how beautiful it is when i do let go. so i have some "junk" to sort through. it makes me feel human and real. i'm glad i'm not walking in this world alone.

because of that i will let go and live. one day at a time. enjoy today friends.