Through a childs eyes

I have two 3rd grade students that are in the foster system that stood out to me today. well, actually just one of the students did. She's a really sweet, well behaved girl who is so flippin precious. I sit on the floor with my students and today I sat next to her. All I can think of right now is what is her story? How did she end up in foster care? I'm a pro of good foster families...but my heart aches for I want Morgan to have a family of her own. I believe she is with 5-6 other foster kids currently. I want her to feel truly part of something. I ache for my students to feel loved, to experience life as a kid, rather then having to grow up at such young ages. There are so many kids out there in the world that need love, a home, food, someone to care, etc. And those kids are in my school too. I'm praying for the kids that are in my school and for the kids who I'm not in contact.

Oh God, please protect and love the kids who really need that love right now.

One year ago

i visited eugene a year ago to see if this would be my future home. we all know the outcome of that process. :) i can hardly believe how flippin fast a year goes by. things change. a lot of things change. i am a person that enjoys change or else i'd be pretty bored and tired of the plainness of life. it's just my personality. i had some friends move far away, left some really close friends to go far away, and was involved in some weddings, etc. it was a busy year. i just find myself not wanting to get comfortable lately. i get that way when i start to get used to my surroundings and in a routine. i am a risk-taker who needs some crazy adventures, but i also need some times to read, journal, and be still.

so i wonder, will i ever understand who i am?

so we are created in the image of God. i believe we all display Gods beauty. but do we really understand all of who God is? i mean every single little detail? i highly doubt it. now understand i am using this in all literalness. so will we ever truly understand who we are? what we were created for? i think we get close, but i won't know everything about myself. that's good news for me. it means i get to continue learning about who i am. and it makes me get excited to see the change that will continue to happen as the years go by.

i've changed since coming out here to eugene and will continue to change as i live here. but i don't want to be comfortable with myself where i am. my soul aches to learn more about who i am.

i love being a small part of the story God created and continues to create daily.

shopping

well this weekend i went on a little shopping spree.

rachel, staci, and i went vintage store shopping on saturday afternoon. it was my first time doing that here in eugene. we had a great time, talked to some really cool people, and came home with a couple extra items we didn't have before. i bought a skirt for $9.00 that happens to have duck colors in it so that made it extra fun (though i didn't think about that when i bought it, haha) and a fun, chunky long necklace with fun big beads on it. that was only $6.00! Sweet deals!!

Today I went out to DSW and found a pair of shoes that i absolutely loved, but i absolutely didn't love the price...$70.00! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME was what was going on in my head. i browsed, spent a lot of time just trying on shoes i just could justify buying at the cost they were asking for, and then finally made my way to the back clearance room. YES, i love clearances and everything about them. I spent a lot of time there and found 2 pairs of shoes. a pair of pumas and a pair of fun brown shoes. both are pratical b/c i can wear them teaching and can wear them for fun too! wearing heels at school just doesn't fly too well for me. :) so with my great discounts of those shoes and the $10 coupon i had, i ended up walking out the door spending less on those two shoes then i would have spent for the puma's themselves. YES!!!! i was flippin pumped by those deals. i've needed some new shoes and finally decided to go and check out what kind of deals i could find. thank goodness for the sweet deals!

but this leads me to what's next. i ended up chatting with my friend kelly who told me everytime she buys something so gets rid of 2 things that she already has at home. so that's what's next for me. i brought in 5 things this weekend and need to get rid of 10 things that i already own. it's to maintain simplicity, something that i am really trying to do. it's not to be legalistic and set rules that i need to follow...it's just that i find that i continue to just own a bunch of stuff that i don't use anymore. so i'm excited to give this a go and try out this new idea. the other good thing about this is that it really does make you think about what you buy, if you need it, and if you are willing to get rid of some other stuff that you already own to get the new things. it also will help me evaluate what i own because half the time i forget what i even have. :)

crafting

last night i had this crazy big itch to start making cards. i absolutely love doing them and haven't done them in awhile. since i don't have much going on this weekend before the madness of march begins i thought it would be a perfect time to just watch some movies, listen to music, and create beautiful cards. i spent some time on flickr looking at what other people have created and got some fun ideas. i'll try to post some pictures of what i did on here after some cards are done. :)

hope

i love listening to sara groves. i totally resonate with her lyrics. one of her songs talks about hope and how sometimes you find hope when you least expect it. i've been thinking about that lately. i want to experience life right now to its fullest potential. i'm sick of having a negative attitude at times and just feeling blah. i miss out on a lot when i am living under that. and i don't need to live under that.

do i find hope or does it find me?

i find hope in the smiles of children.
i find hope in a hello from a stranger.
i find hope while being in community.
i find hope when i live life fully.
i find hope in other peoples stories and bravery.

hope finds me in nature.
hope finds me in mystery.
hope finds me when i least expect it.
hope finds me when i am not looking.
hope finds me when i am lost.
hope finds me when i am lonely.

i'm so thankful for hope.

what's been going on?

a friend, who i haven't talked to in over a week, asked me what's been going on in my life. my answer was i have no idea. but then i thought about it again and came up with this. i've been living through the routine and have basically smiled and nodded through a lot of stuff. I keep learning more about myself like the fact that i am an extremely verbal processor of everything. seriously, everything. i don't process well unless i talk about it. so i think it's hard to figure out the balance of talking and not talking. and it was hard on me maybe a week ago when i couldn't find that balance. i do not do well if i am alone all the time or feel lonely. i recharge around a lot of people and come alive more fully. but if i am constantly around people and doing a million things i start to get into a place of complacency. and i don't like smiling and nodding through life. so i'm figuring out a lot about who i am through this. how do i balance things? am i just going through life too fast without stopping to appreciate what's right in front of me? i bet i could come up with some crazy song lyrics for this stage i am living in, hahahahaha...now that would be a treat for everyone. :)

First concert

My 4th and 5th graders just performed their program last night and it went really, really well! I was all stressed out this whole week trying to get everything ready and organized for the half hour event. Seriously, it takes a lot of work to just do a half hour show! I saw some pictures my roommate took of the kids during the program and my heart was filled with joy. I'll have to post some of them soon. The kids were dancing and they had complete joy on their faces. I absolutely have the best job. I get to see kids, for the most part, really enjoy what they are doing. They get to be kids in my class where they use their imaginations and daily create different things. I love to see kids truly come alive when they are doing something that they love. It's awesome! :)