I had some pretty crazy, emotional, good days for the past 4 days or so. It's been tough and my tears definitely ran down my face each one of those days. The one thing that God is really working on in me right now is my response to the certain situations I am in. For instance, I heard more bad news about my car yesterday and I could make two different choices on how my response was going to be for that specific moment. I could, a. chose to have that ruin my life and become extremely depressed or b. trust God that he has some sort of plan set in and only he can make my heart become peaceful again. Now I have to say I did both a. and b. I had some time to kill so I went to the mall because of a christmas gift card I got for borders. In the past I would go shopping when I felt depressed and it would momentarily solve my problems. Well, I walked through the mall and just become more depressed looking at people being happy with all their purchases in their hands and decided this is not going to make me happy. It doesn't matter what I get here. Only Jesus can fill this void that I am feeling. It was very easy for me to feel all of the things that are on that cross picture that is above. I just felt like I needed to respond differently. So, I walked right back out of the mall, got in my car, and proceeded to cry some more. I had to take myself out of the equation, and just trust in God. The things of this world will just pass by me and I need to just let go...let go of the things that make my heart prideful, controlling, materialist, self-righteous, selfish, etc. And it's hard. VERY hard. But yesterday was just one little baby step for me. My heart has a long way to go.

I just know that there is more in this world then the daily moments of frustrations I encounter. I've just been struggling with the way I deal with them. Do I respond in a Christ-like way or a Stacie-like way?

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God."

My heart is for God and for God alone. I pray that I will understand that more and more each day.