prayer

prayer is good.

i have been uber stressed out this past week. like "please-don't-talk-to-me-or-i'll-snap" stressed out. i just kept thinking crap i have a whole bunch of stuff to do next week. just thinking about it stressed me out. then teaching wasn't going well because well i was flippin stressed out. and it showed in every aspect of my like. no joke. it was bad.

so wednesday night i just prayed. prayed that God would get me through this and that there would be some calm in the midst of this storm i was causing for myself. it's true, i think i caused most of this stress myself. so yesterday i felt extremely blessed to have a GREAT teaching day and was starting to feel confident of my two performances my kids are having next week. i really needed that yesterday and my prayer was answered. same thing happened today. i got all my stuff ready for the performance next week and the kids were stinkin' GREAT. so i am blessed.

i'm so thankful that God listens to pains and my burdens and frees me. i'm glad my eyes were opened up to the fact that i don't need to prove anything during these programs. i mean really, if my kids mess up well it won't be the end of the world. but i struggle making it perfect. and i'm a controller so that messes with me as well when i am getting ready for a performance. i know that my identity is not my job. i am valued as an individual by God and by my community of friends. I am grateful to have learned that i can't live without God and that i will always be a flawed person. so this will keep coming up and God will keep revealing himself. :)

funny side note: some 4th grade girls come up to me before class and this is the convo that went down. it flippin cracked me up!
girl: miss kapciak, are you married?
me: no, i am not. my name is miss so that means i am not married. if my name was mrs. then i would be married.
girls: oh i thought mrs. meant you were not married and miss meant you are married
me: (i'm laughing at this point) no, no. you've got that backwards.
girl: are you going to get married?
me: hopefully, one day i will.
girl: do you have a boyfriend?
me: (laughing is all i could do)
girl: (she said this to the other girl who asked that question) that's a really personal question! she's not going to answer that!
me: so i have some instruments to move...(i couldn't keep going with that convo or else i would have not stopped laughing, hahaha)